Poems that
make us Smile
Laughter is Medicine for
the Soul
... Patricia Mary Simpson
Poetry allows us to express our deeper feelings
without appearing trite ...... Keith Scott
AN ODE TO SPRING
Now spring has sprung
It’s allergies begun;
Snotty and sneezing
Drippy and wheezing
Headaches so stunning
Our noses are running!
For this we all waited
With breaths that were baited?
With pills and sprays
We will fill our days
While all through the summer
Our noses’ll grow numb’er
Until relief comes again
With an end to our pain
When gone is the mold
With the return of the cold!
BIG ED
In commiseration for Ed's wife and for those who remember that old
country and western ballad ... Big John
Every morning ‘about nine you could see him arrive.
He stood six-foot-six and weighed three-forty-five.
Kinda of heavy at the shoulder
and lardy round the tub
and everybody knew you couldn’t hide no grub from …. Big Ed.
Nobody seemed to know if Ed ate alone
He just drifted to the table and ate you outa home.
He didn’t say much, just pass that piece o’ pie
and if you ate at all
you just had crumbs from Big Ed.
Big Ed. Big Ed. Big Ed.
Big Fat Ed.
Somebody said he came from New Orleans
where he got in a fight over some Boston beans
and a crashing blow from a huge right hand
sent the offending plate to the promised land. Big Ed.
Big Ed. Big Ed. Big Ed.
Big Fat Ed.
Then came the day when the clock struck nine
as Ed walked in and waiters started crying.
Diners were praying and hearts beat fast
and everybody thought that they'd eaten their last …. 'cept
Ed.
To the buffet in a room where a silence had fell
walked that giant of a man that the diners knew well.
Grabbed the last sausage and gave out with a groan
and like a giant oak tree
just stood there alone. Big Ed.
Big Ed. Big Ed. Big Ed.
Big Fat Ed.
And with all of his strength
he gave one mighty fart;
then a diner yelled out
that smells mighty tart!
And twenty men scrambled from a would be grave
and now there's only one left in there to save …. Big Ed.
Giving sighs of relief they prayed it was ended
then came that rumble from a stomach distended
and methane gas belched out of that diner
everybody knew it was the end of the line er … for Big Ed.
Big Ed. Big Ed. Big Ed.
Big Fat Ed.
Now they never reopened that worthless caff
they just placed a marble plaque on the path;
These few words are written on that plaque:
Somewhere in this old diner lies a big, big man; Big Ed.
Big Ed. Big Ed.
Big Fat Ed.
Big Ed. Big Ed.
Big Fat Ed.